Learning to Live Through the Loss

We all learn how to live a little differently after loss.

This year taught me how to be stronger than I ever thought I could be—but it also took everything from me.

In the span of one year, I lost myself.

I lost the version of me that laughed easily, trusted deeply, and believed love was safe. I should be drowning in tears, in anger, in resentment—and some days, I am.

I tried so hard to be everything for someone who couldn’t even pause to ask if I was okay.

And the truth is I’m not okay.

I sit with resentment, with confusion, with depression that weighs heavier than words can explain. I replay moments, conversations, promises that felt real to me. I lost myself trying to build a future with someone who never fully stood beside me.

I miss him. I do.

But do I miss us?

What is there really to miss?

A contract of hope? A version of love I imagined more than I lived? The idea of being chosen, respected, loved the way I gave?

This year didn’t just break my heart—it exposed the truth. I loved deeply, selflessly, completely. And in doing so, I forgot to protect myself.

I’m learning now.

Learning that loving someone should never cost me my sense of self.

Learning that being strong doesn’t mean pretending I’m okay.

Learning that healing starts when I finally choose myself.

I’m still hurting.

I’m still grieving.

But I’m here learning how to live again, one honest breath at a time.