Reclaiming My Energy: Learning to Be Less Available for Those Who Aren’t There for Me

There comes a time when you have to stop overextending yourself for people who only show up when it’s convenient for them. It’s not about becoming cold or selfish it’s about self-preservation, about honoring your worth, and realizing that your energy is sacred.

For a long time, I was always the one reaching out, checking in, offering support, and holding space for others even when my own cup was empty. I thought it made me a good friend, a good person. But over time, I started to feel drained, unappreciated, and, quite frankly, taken for granted. I noticed the pattern: I was available for people who disappeared when I needed them the most.

So, I’m learning to detach.

Not in a cruel or resentful way, but with love for myself. I’m learning to give in alignment with what I receive. I’m no longer offering my whole heart, time, or emotional energy to those who have shown me through their actions that they won’t do the same. I’m letting go of the fantasy that if I just keep giving, they’ll finally see me, value me, or show up consistently.

Here’s the truth: you deserve mutual effort. You deserve reciprocity. You deserve to be someone’s priority, not their backup plan.

It hurts to pull away, especially when your heart is big and your intentions are pure. But sometimes, the most powerful act of self-love is silence. It’s saying no more without needing to say anything at all. It’s choosing peace over performing, solitude over disappointment, and self-respect over seeking approval.

So if you’re in this space too feeling like you’re always available for people who barely show up for you just know it’s okay to set boundaries. It’s okay to protect your peace. You’re not cold. You’re not bitter. You’re healing. You’re reclaiming your energy. And you’re learning that not everyone deserves front-row access to your life.

Be less available to people who make you feel like a convenience. Give less to those who only take. And most importantly, never stop giving to yourself.

Because you are worth that and so much more.