The Weight of Always Giving: Learning to Prioritize Myself

For so long, I’ve lived my life trying to satisfy everyone around me. I’ve bent over backward to make people happy, to make them feel special, to make them feel wanted. I’ve poured my energy into relationships, friendships, and even family connections, hoping that if I gave enough, I’d receive the same in return. But time and time again, I’ve learned the hard way—it’s never reciprocated the way I need it to be.

I don’t say this as a victim. I say this as someone who is waking up to a truth that has been staring me in the face for years: I have neglected myself in the process of trying to be everything for everyone else.

The Pattern of Giving Without Receiving

When you’re a natural giver, people get used to taking. They get comfortable with your kindness, your availability, and your willingness to always show up. But what happens when you need someone to do the same for you? More often than not, there’s silence. The very people you’ve poured into suddenly don’t have time, don’t have the energy, or somehow make you feel like you’re the problem for even needing something in return.

And that’s the part that hurts the most not just the lack of reciprocity, but the way people turn things around as if you’re the issue for finally wanting to be seen, heard, and cared for.

The Exhaustion of Over-Giving

I’m tired. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. Tired of giving my all and being left with nothing. Tired of showing up for people who wouldn’t do the same for me. Tired of explaining why I need the same love and care that I so freely give.

And I know I’m not alone in this feeling. So many of us especially those who lead with love, empathy, and understanding find ourselves in this cycle of over-giving and under-receiving. And at some point, we have to ask ourselves: When will I matter just as much as everyone else?

Choosing Myself for Once

I’m learning that it’s okay to step back. It’s okay to say, “I need to put myself first.” It’s okay to stop pouring into people who don’t pour into you. And most importantly, it’s okay to stop seeking validation through the happiness of others.

Because the truth is, real love—whether in friendships, relationships, or family—should never feel like a one-way street. It should never leave you drained, questioning your worth, or feeling like you have to prove that you deserve the same energy you give.

So, I’m choosing me. Not in a selfish way, but in a necessary way. I refuse to keep emptying myself for people who only take. I refuse to let my worth be measured by how much I can do for others. From now on, I’m giving that love back to myself—because I deserve it.

And if you’ve ever felt this way, I hope you know that you deserve it too.