Water Your Own Grass: Choosing Yourself Before Anyone Else

Sometimes, you invest deeply into someone who isn’t fully present. Not because they don’t care, but because part of them is still tied to unfinished stories or unresolved emotions elsewhere. They show up halfway giving attention, sharing moments, offering fragments of what you need but never quite giving it all. And that lingering absence makes you question your place in their life.

It’s difficult to come to terms with the fact that no matter how much effort you give, some people just can’t receive it fully. You convince yourself to be patient, to wait for clarity, to hope they’ll one day show up fully for you. But waiting for someone to fully show up in your life can quietly erode your spirit.

I found myself giving more energy than I was receiving back, hoping that somehow it would tip the scale. But relationships of any kind should never feel like persuasion or silent competition. And yet, I lingered, holding on to the belief that consistency on my part would somehow spark reciprocity on theirs.

The hardest realization was that in trying so hard to show up for someone else, I had been neglecting the one person who needed me most myself. I was pouring into their world while my own went unattended. And when you continuously give without replenishment, you end up drained, disconnected, and wondering where you lost yourself along the way.

Eventually, I had to make a choice not about them, but about me. I had to release the need for validation from someone who couldn’t fully offer it, and instead redirect all that love and effort back into my own life. I had to remember that I am complete on my own, and that being chosen should never feel like a question mark.

It’s beautiful to care for others, but necessary to prioritize yourself. Because when your own garden is blooming, you no longer feel the need to beg anyone to water it. The right connections will come naturally, and they’ll match the energy you give not because you chased it, but because you became the source of your own abundance.