When Giving Leaves You Empty

I’ve realized something about myself that hurts to admit: I’m a people pleaser.

It’s not just that I like to make people happy it’s that I’ve built my whole identity around giving. I give my time, my love, my energy, my heart, and every little piece of myself until there’s nothing left. And the messed-up part? Most of the time, nobody even notices how much of me I’m pouring out.

I thought being this way made me strong, made me valuable, made me worthy of love. But lately, I’ve noticed the truth: it’s leaving me empty.

I’ll bend until I break, smile when I’m hurting, and say yes when I want to scream no. I’ve convinced myself that if I keep giving, people will stay, they’ll love me back, they’ll see my worth. But what about me? What about my needs, my feelings, my peace? I’ve abandoned myself over and over again just to make sure no one else feels abandoned.

That realization stings.

Because deep down, I know I’ve been searching for validation. I’ve been chasing acceptance, thinking if I gave enough, someone would finally choose me without conditions. But the truth is people will take as long as I keep giving. And I can’t blame them, because I never stopped to set boundaries. I never said, “This is too much.” Instead, I told myself to keep going, keep sacrificing, keep proving that I was worthy of love.

But here I am, drained. Here I am, empty. Here I am, realizing that no matter how much I give, it will never be enough for some people.

I don’t want to live like this anymore.

I want to give, but not at the cost of losing myself. I want to love, but not by pouring out every last drop until I have nothing left. I want to stop being so damn afraid of saying no, of disappointing people, of being “too much” or “not enough.”

I’ve realized that being a people pleaser doesn’t make me selfless it makes me invisible. And I’m tired of disappearing inside my own life.

So maybe it’s time to choose me. To stop giving until I’m empty and start holding on to some of that love for myself. Because I deserve to feel full too.