The Paradox of Being Social Yet Lonely: Living with Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD

Being social while living with depression, anxiety, and PTSD is a strange contradiction. I can be surrounded by people, laughing, engaging, even giving advice yet still feel completely alone. It’s not that I don’t enjoy socializing; in fact, I thrive in it. But there’s a difference between being present and truly feeling connected.

The loneliness isn’t about a lack of people it’s about feeling unseen. I could be in a crowded room, in deep conversation, and still feel like I’m standing behind glass, watching life happen rather than being a part of it. PTSD makes trust difficult, anxiety makes me second-guess every interaction, and depression convinces me that no one truly cares. Even in my most social moments, there’s an underlying emptiness that lingers long after I go home.

What people don’t see is the exhaustion. The mental preparation it takes just to show up, the overanalyzing afterward, the way I replay conversations in my head wondering if I said too much, too little, or if I was even wanted there at all. It’s a constant push and pull between craving connection and needing to retreat. Some days, I long to be around people but can’t find the energy to engage. Other times, I force myself into social situations, only to return home feeling drained and more isolated than before.

There are moments when I remind myself that I don’t have to perform, that it’s okay to just be. I hold on to the connections that feel safe, the people who see beyond the surface and understand when I withdraw. Writing helps. Therapy helps. Letting go of the need to be “on” all the time helps. But even with all the coping mechanisms, some nights, the loneliness is still there.

If you’ve ever felt this way, know that you’re not alone. You are not broken, and your feelings are valid. There is space for you in this world, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Keep holding on.